Have you ever asked for a pay rise? The answer from most women is no.
Did you know that women are 4 times less likely than men to ask for a pay rise? And that men are 25% more likely than women to get a pay rise when they ask for one.
Why don’t we ask?
Much of the answer to this question is about our social conditioning. As girls we are taught to be nice, to be good girls and that good girls don’t ask. Sound familiar? It can make us feel greedy and needy to ask for more. It can also seem that we are being difficult by asking, making it awkward for others and for ourselves, it might be a difficult conversation. As women we are often conditioned not to upset other people, to please others and that can make us shy away from confrontation and conflict.
Another factor that can hold us back is Tiara Syndrome (here’s my blog about it). This is a belief that if we work hard someone will recognise us. As women we also tend to suffer more with self-doubt and imposter syndrome so may feel we don’t actually deserve a pay increase, that we only got into our role by sheer luck.
So as we can see there are lots of factors that can lead us to keep our heads down and not ask, and of course if you don’t ask you won’t be disappointed will you!
Think about the implications
If we are paid less than we are worth it can have huge ongoing implications on our lives both whilst we are working and to our pensions when we retire. We end up with lower incomes and as a consequence lower pensions. If we have a lower income we have less ability to outsource support for a household, for instance a cleaner or someone to help with the ironing. The sort of tasks that we take on along with a full time job and children to look after. A lower income can stop some women from working part-time and being with her family. It can also make us more reliant on a male spouse because he may well have a higher income.
Women can be great negotiators
Women are often really good at negotiating for others, for instance members of our team, our friends and family. We put to use skills such as empathy and the ability to put ourselves in somebody else’s position. Also many women enjoy encouraging and supporting others and put this to use by negotiating for them.
Tips to make any negotiation easier
One technique for improving your own negotiation skills is to imagine you are doing it for someone else. You might also want to consider who will benefit if you get the pay rise you are asking for, think about the impact on your family or your children.
So how do you go about asking for a pay rise, firstly think about when to ask and then how to go about it.
When is a good time to ask for a pay rise –
1. when you are being offered a job
2. appraisal/performance review time
3. at the end of a big project that you have successfully completed
4. when you take on more responsibility in your existing role
5. key milestones when your performance is reviewed
How to ask for a pay rise –
- Find out what you are worth by researching the market value of your role. Look at job adverts, talk to recruiters, talk to others in your industry. You need to collect data and evidence to support your request.
- Write out your successes and achievements, feedback you’ve received – all the things that demonstrate your contribution to your organisation.
- Create your ‘case’ – based on the evidence that you’ve put together in points 1 and 2 above. You need to present the facts about why you are requesting an increase. Have a figure in mind and ask for that.
- Contact your boss and tell them you would like to set up a time to discuss your salary. Get a meeting booked into your diaries.
- Write out what you want to say, then practise saying it out loud to yourself. You might also want to practice with somebody else too. Knowing what you want say and practicing the actual words will make you feel more confident.
- Go to the meeting and put forward your proposal with confidence, knowing that you deserve the pay increase. In negotiations the person who puts forward the first proposal is more likely to get a deal that is preferable to them, therefore it’s important to go with your request for how much rather than just saying I’d like a pay rise.
Be brave and remember – if you don’t ask you don’t get!
If you would like more help on this topic please do get in touch with me. Book a no obligation meeting to see how we might work together.
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