How much of myself should I be at work?
Being authentic as a leader has been talked about for a long time now. We’ve also seen inclusivity advocated more and more in recent years, which supports the notion that we should be ourselves at work and bring our unique talents with us.
This is all good stuff, however being totally yourself all the time in the workplace can come at a price……. sometimes it’s not acceptable. Realistically are all required to ‘perform’ in some way whilst at work. Let’s face it we wouldn’t behave the same way with our boss as we would with our partner if we disagreed with them, would we?
As humans we learn from an early age that we need to ‘fit in’
We are taught what is acceptable behaviour in certain circumstances. We are taught what these behaviours are according to our gender …. girls are taught to be accommodating, modest, nurturing and please others before ourselves. Whilst boys are taught that acceptable behaviours for them are being strong, aggressive and bold.
What’s appropriate in your workplace? And who says so?
What are the norms of behaviour and how much of this is based on stereotypes?
As with most things in life there are no absolutes, no definite rights and wrongs, within any organisation one persons view will differ from another.
It can feel like walking a tightrope, how do I fit in enough so that I can develop my career but be myself so that I can thrive because I am being me.
If you have to constantly perform (be someone other than yourself), if you have to constantly readjust your behaviour that is exhausting.
So how much readjustment is too much? The answer to that will depend on the person.
Becoming more comfortable with being yourself at work
The first step to being more you at work is to take time to explore who you really are. Ask yourself the following questions
- Who is my authentic self?
- What makes me me?
- What are my values?
- What are my strengths and do I use them to the full at work?
Create a vision for your authentic leadership style
Try this – Pick five words that articulate how you’d like to come across in your professional life. Link them to your values and your strengths. For example – powerful, warm, calm, centred, at ease. Or – accessible, friendly, energetic, funny, trustworthy. Write down this vision of yourself. Keep reminding yourself of it. Particularly remind yourself of them before important meetings or communications.
Setting an intention and holding a vision is powerful
When you believe you have something valuable to contribute you feel more confident being your authentic self.
Trust who you are, act on who you are, learn to listen to your intuition
There will always be times when we need to adapt, to dial up or dial down particular aspects of how we behave in certain circumstances. For instance how you might need to act when first meeting a new client vs a quick catch up with a team member. You will probably already do this without thinking too much about it. So remember that you have those skills, it’s good to use them and to develop them further.
For example, you might want to give some thought to how you use your voice and language. Are there times you want to dial it up to create more impact? Do you have some speech habits that undermine your impact? If so, here’s a short video I’ve done to help you reduce those and increase your impact.
Remember, it starts with understanding who you really are and what’s important to you.
I hope you’ve found today’s blog useful, its part of my mission to support women to thrive in their careers. You can find all my blogs here and my helpful tips videos here.
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